Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
A sociopath, when entering a new environ, will take over quickly, make contacts, form connections with people, and begin to suck everything dry. Normally, the sociopath is careful enough to keep resources flowing, not hoard anything, and make sure that everything (s)he does looks generous and giving, while still gaining from it. If this fails, and the people around the sociopath begin to notice, the sociopath will leave, normally without a trace. They'll start anew and begin drawing off of a new community, trying once again to appear generous and giving, while still gaining from their actions.
Feb 23, 2011
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
This one is different for every sociopath. For some, it's about lording it over a younger mate. For others, it's about being in control of someone older. But for all, it's about the power. It's always about being the one holding the remote and pushing the buttons. Some sociopaths find fun in being bound, and seeming out of control, but the moment the sexual activity starts, the sociopath is back on top. The promiscuity comes from the inability to truly care about another human, and therefore not caring about the implications of cheating. For a sociopath, the only worry is being caught, and how it may negatively impact the image (s)he puts out. Child abuse is generally about taking advantage of the status of age and the ignorance of the child to prove mastery to the one being abused, and gender often has no affect on that. Rape (in the case of sociopaths) is normally done by men to teenage girls in an effort to stoke the rage against some high-school flirt who spurned them at some point, else, it's just a seduction from either gender to either gender to prove a point or to take a 'trophy.'
In some cases, however, sociopaths will find less joy in the ability to just seduce, and as time moves on and the seduction becomes easier, a sociopath will begin stalking targets in order to gain a challenge and force sex on a victim. This is always more about the challenge and the chase than it is the actual rape. There's little sexuality in this, other than the depravity of the mind giving the sociopath a deranged sense of orgasmic fury in the pain of the victim.
This one is different for every sociopath. For some, it's about lording it over a younger mate. For others, it's about being in control of someone older. But for all, it's about the power. It's always about being the one holding the remote and pushing the buttons. Some sociopaths find fun in being bound, and seeming out of control, but the moment the sexual activity starts, the sociopath is back on top. The promiscuity comes from the inability to truly care about another human, and therefore not caring about the implications of cheating. For a sociopath, the only worry is being caught, and how it may negatively impact the image (s)he puts out. Child abuse is generally about taking advantage of the status of age and the ignorance of the child to prove mastery to the one being abused, and gender often has no affect on that. Rape (in the case of sociopaths) is normally done by men to teenage girls in an effort to stoke the rage against some high-school flirt who spurned them at some point, else, it's just a seduction from either gender to either gender to prove a point or to take a 'trophy.'
In some cases, however, sociopaths will find less joy in the ability to just seduce, and as time moves on and the seduction becomes easier, a sociopath will begin stalking targets in order to gain a challenge and force sex on a victim. This is always more about the challenge and the chase than it is the actual rape. There's little sexuality in this, other than the depravity of the mind giving the sociopath a deranged sense of orgasmic fury in the pain of the victim.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
A sociopath, while well defined as a person on the outside, has a definitive 'edge' on the inside. There's a cold, hard surface surrounding the inner rage that drives them. We don't intentionally cause devastation, for the most part, nor do we worry when we do. What's done is done. Again, I see that this was written by someone not of sociopathic origin, because we generally own what we do. When portraying our faults to others, we make everything appear to have external causes, laying the blame at another's feet, but we never fail to know what we did. It's never someone else's fault on the inside, but again, it's what people see that matters.
A sociopath, while well defined as a person on the outside, has a definitive 'edge' on the inside. There's a cold, hard surface surrounding the inner rage that drives them. We don't intentionally cause devastation, for the most part, nor do we worry when we do. What's done is done. Again, I see that this was written by someone not of sociopathic origin, because we generally own what we do. When portraying our faults to others, we make everything appear to have external causes, laying the blame at another's feet, but we never fail to know what we did. It's never someone else's fault on the inside, but again, it's what people see that matters.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Sociopaths hate rules. We hate limits, and we generally hate authority. As a child, it's hard to understand, so most sociopaths end up getting caught often. The odd thing is, though, is even as a child, a sociopath will be able to justify the action; i.e. only stealing candy that wasn't being eaten by someone else, hurting a dog because it wasn't listening, breaking a toy only when it's already broken. A sociopath doesn't take candy from a baby, a sociopath takes candy from a doctors office, getting four or five suckers out of the basket that says "Take One Please." A sociopath doesn't hurt an animal out of frustration, a sociopath hurts an animal to teach it. Most of the sociopath's behavioral problems are shown in adolescence, however. Where many teens 'rebel' out of anger, frustration, loneliness, peer pressure, or other emotional reasons, sociopaths 'rebel' solely for the purpose of rebellion. Every sociopath will test the limits, see what can be gotten away with, and more often than not, push it too far. Keeping items that are questionable, if not outright contraband on their person at school, threatening peers to see if they'll retaliate, intentionally being the 'queer kid' to cause a stir, breaking minor rules like dress code or attendance policies in order to irritate authority, limitless possibilities to the ways the rules can be broken. A sociopath will generally know exactly the punishment for breaking the rules as well, and when questioned, will normally own the crime. No denial, no trying to squirm around the rules. Just a solid stance of "I broke the rules. Punish me." It often forces disciplinary action to become awkward, when a student walks into the principal's office, knowing the punishment better than the principal does.
Another type of delinquency is when the young sociopath dislikes a rule, and so questions it by performing an act which does not directly break the rule, but calls into question the validity of the rule. This is actually a lawyer's method for changing the law. The lawyer, however, waits for someone to break the law he doesn't like, then goes to prove that the law somehow infringes the rights of the person who broke it, and that the only reason the person broke that specific law was to exercise their rights. A sociopath would simply break the law because they didn't like it, then when court came around, explain to the judge and jury why (s)he broke the law. Getting a sentence wouldn't bother the sociopath, however, as they'd easily convince everyone around them, parents, friends, teachers, that the sentence was ridiculous and the law was idiotic. Doing so makes the sociopath a martyr, while getting off the hook makes the sociopath a hero. Either way, the broken rule gives the sociopath a positive outcome.
Throughout younger ages, friends will be hard to come by, as most sociopaths have difficulty communicating with people before they develop. A sociopath's mind functions on a different level, using different logic and reasoning than the people around him/her. A young, undeveloped sociopath may often begin to believe that they are smarter than their peers, or otherwise better, and will be seen as cocky, else the undeveloped sociopath may begin to view his/herself as weird, a misfit, and will be labeled and judged as such. As the sociopath reaches teen years, however, (s)he begins to be able to fake normality, and grow into a small group of friends. As the sociopath becomes more comfortable, (s)he begins to expand, adding more groups of people to their repertoire, learning more about different cliques in their school, and fitting in more and more. Old prejudices may remain, however, as many teens may remember the sociopath as the 'weird kid' from middle or elementary school.
Sociopaths hate rules. We hate limits, and we generally hate authority. As a child, it's hard to understand, so most sociopaths end up getting caught often. The odd thing is, though, is even as a child, a sociopath will be able to justify the action; i.e. only stealing candy that wasn't being eaten by someone else, hurting a dog because it wasn't listening, breaking a toy only when it's already broken. A sociopath doesn't take candy from a baby, a sociopath takes candy from a doctors office, getting four or five suckers out of the basket that says "Take One Please." A sociopath doesn't hurt an animal out of frustration, a sociopath hurts an animal to teach it. Most of the sociopath's behavioral problems are shown in adolescence, however. Where many teens 'rebel' out of anger, frustration, loneliness, peer pressure, or other emotional reasons, sociopaths 'rebel' solely for the purpose of rebellion. Every sociopath will test the limits, see what can be gotten away with, and more often than not, push it too far. Keeping items that are questionable, if not outright contraband on their person at school, threatening peers to see if they'll retaliate, intentionally being the 'queer kid' to cause a stir, breaking minor rules like dress code or attendance policies in order to irritate authority, limitless possibilities to the ways the rules can be broken. A sociopath will generally know exactly the punishment for breaking the rules as well, and when questioned, will normally own the crime. No denial, no trying to squirm around the rules. Just a solid stance of "I broke the rules. Punish me." It often forces disciplinary action to become awkward, when a student walks into the principal's office, knowing the punishment better than the principal does.
Another type of delinquency is when the young sociopath dislikes a rule, and so questions it by performing an act which does not directly break the rule, but calls into question the validity of the rule. This is actually a lawyer's method for changing the law. The lawyer, however, waits for someone to break the law he doesn't like, then goes to prove that the law somehow infringes the rights of the person who broke it, and that the only reason the person broke that specific law was to exercise their rights. A sociopath would simply break the law because they didn't like it, then when court came around, explain to the judge and jury why (s)he broke the law. Getting a sentence wouldn't bother the sociopath, however, as they'd easily convince everyone around them, parents, friends, teachers, that the sentence was ridiculous and the law was idiotic. Doing so makes the sociopath a martyr, while getting off the hook makes the sociopath a hero. Either way, the broken rule gives the sociopath a positive outcome.
Throughout younger ages, friends will be hard to come by, as most sociopaths have difficulty communicating with people before they develop. A sociopath's mind functions on a different level, using different logic and reasoning than the people around him/her. A young, undeveloped sociopath may often begin to believe that they are smarter than their peers, or otherwise better, and will be seen as cocky, else the undeveloped sociopath may begin to view his/herself as weird, a misfit, and will be labeled and judged as such. As the sociopath reaches teen years, however, (s)he begins to be able to fake normality, and grow into a small group of friends. As the sociopath becomes more comfortable, (s)he begins to expand, adding more groups of people to their repertoire, learning more about different cliques in their school, and fitting in more and more. Old prejudices may remain, however, as many teens may remember the sociopath as the 'weird kid' from middle or elementary school.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
This description is very accurate, if a little extravagant. The "rage and abuse" are normally no more than an appearance of constant disappointment in the 'victim,' acting as though nothing they do is right, and often feigning frustration with their incompetence. All of this is nothing more than show, but the strength and conviction with which a sociopath pulls off the act creates a sort of dramatic gravity for the 'victim,' so that even as we destroy the 'victim' from the inside out, we rebuild them with uncommon praise and make them feel that all they can do is keep trying to measure up. Our social graces and faux emotional depth make the abused feel that we're worth the pain, that they can change the sociopath.
A sociopath actually will rarely believe that they are all-powerful. In fact, we're normally very real with ourselves, beyond the whole Mind over Matter concept. On the surface, we act like we're all powerful, always in control, indestructible, unstoppable, and with no sense of boundary or concern. On the surface, we may even force ourselves to truly believe that we're the bomb-diggity, the shiz-niz. But underneath, we know our boundaries, we know where to stop. We'll always push those limits, though, to make everyone around us believe our surface attributes. If you go farther than everyone else, then you've proven to them that their limits don't apply to you. Inside, though, you weren't sure if you could go beyond those limits.
This description is very accurate, if a little extravagant. The "rage and abuse" are normally no more than an appearance of constant disappointment in the 'victim,' acting as though nothing they do is right, and often feigning frustration with their incompetence. All of this is nothing more than show, but the strength and conviction with which a sociopath pulls off the act creates a sort of dramatic gravity for the 'victim,' so that even as we destroy the 'victim' from the inside out, we rebuild them with uncommon praise and make them feel that all they can do is keep trying to measure up. Our social graces and faux emotional depth make the abused feel that we're worth the pain, that they can change the sociopath.
A sociopath actually will rarely believe that they are all-powerful. In fact, we're normally very real with ourselves, beyond the whole Mind over Matter concept. On the surface, we act like we're all powerful, always in control, indestructible, unstoppable, and with no sense of boundary or concern. On the surface, we may even force ourselves to truly believe that we're the bomb-diggity, the shiz-niz. But underneath, we know our boundaries, we know where to stop. We'll always push those limits, though, to make everyone around us believe our surface attributes. If you go farther than everyone else, then you've proven to them that their limits don't apply to you. Inside, though, you weren't sure if you could go beyond those limits.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
This post misuses the word 'empathy.' A sociopath can very easily empathize with a 'victim,' know the feelings invoked, but just not care. Empathy is just the understanding and entering into of another's emotions. While a sociopath may not care about how the person affected feels, the sociopath will most definitely know how the affected person feels. Almost all sociopaths are very strongly empathetic, understanding and being able to access the emotions of the people around them. The amount of sympathy given to the 'victim,' however, varies on how the sociopath wants to be seen by the 'victim.' If we want to appear kind and giving, we take those emotions and reciprocate them to the 'victim.' If we want to appear strong, and leaderlike, we acknowledge the emotions, but don't show them ourselves, and if we want to appear cold, callous, and untouchable, we completely ignore the emotions, or otherwise show only contempt for the emotions. We will, however, readily take advantage of any emotion we see, whether by showing sympathy, tough love, or ignoring, our action will make the best out of the emotion no matter what.
This post misuses the word 'empathy.' A sociopath can very easily empathize with a 'victim,' know the feelings invoked, but just not care. Empathy is just the understanding and entering into of another's emotions. While a sociopath may not care about how the person affected feels, the sociopath will most definitely know how the affected person feels. Almost all sociopaths are very strongly empathetic, understanding and being able to access the emotions of the people around them. The amount of sympathy given to the 'victim,' however, varies on how the sociopath wants to be seen by the 'victim.' If we want to appear kind and giving, we take those emotions and reciprocate them to the 'victim.' If we want to appear strong, and leaderlike, we acknowledge the emotions, but don't show them ourselves, and if we want to appear cold, callous, and untouchable, we completely ignore the emotions, or otherwise show only contempt for the emotions. We will, however, readily take advantage of any emotion we see, whether by showing sympathy, tough love, or ignoring, our action will make the best out of the emotion no matter what.
Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
Everyone needs a little chaos. Sociopaths are no different. Drugs don't do much for us; our body learns to overcome the effects, and unless there're genetics involved, a sociopath can beat pretty much any addiction without a problem. So we need something a bit more exciting, challenging. Most sociopaths are "lucky," the odds fall in our favor often. This isn't some mystical force, or Fate intervening in the world, it's just a subconscious logic acting more quickly than our minds can fathom. What we love, though, is to test that. Stock market numbers, roulette tables and poker, any form of 'random chance' that we can beat, is a spicy challenge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments aren't quite that normal; they make us look bad. We only do those on the ones closest to us, or on the people who threaten our people.
Say, one of my 'heart's is at a bar and someone is harassing him/her. For show, I'd probably yell at the person, and get between them and my 'heart.' If they continued to cause trouble, I'd maybe shove them a bit, depending on their size and fighting ability. If they looked like they knew how to fight, I'd probably make a fuss, then back off. If they looked like they had a glass jaw, I'd probably beat the shit out of them, but the violence wouldn't be for the sake of violence, it'd be to show that the 'heart' I was protecting was MY property, and no one's allowed to mess with them.
Other violence may be in acts of passion. Most sociopaths are violent lovers; we play rough. Of course, beforehand, we'd make sure the person was okay with the violence, and once started, we have no problem stopping, but many a lover of mine has left with bruises, teeth marks, scratches, and open cuts. It's a fun way of expressing ownership of the mate without them realizing it.
Promiscuity is really most often just for the challenge of doing it. A sociopath chases the tail that's hardest to catch or most worth catching. Sociopaths will do almost anything to sleep with a boss at work, just for the power, or sleep with a professor, just for the kudos. Anyone in a position of authority, a sociopath will attempt to control, through nearly any means. Even if control is not possible, the sociopath will still try and establish connections with the authorative figure, and generally succeed.
Everyone needs a little chaos. Sociopaths are no different. Drugs don't do much for us; our body learns to overcome the effects, and unless there're genetics involved, a sociopath can beat pretty much any addiction without a problem. So we need something a bit more exciting, challenging. Most sociopaths are "lucky," the odds fall in our favor often. This isn't some mystical force, or Fate intervening in the world, it's just a subconscious logic acting more quickly than our minds can fathom. What we love, though, is to test that. Stock market numbers, roulette tables and poker, any form of 'random chance' that we can beat, is a spicy challenge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments aren't quite that normal; they make us look bad. We only do those on the ones closest to us, or on the people who threaten our people.
Say, one of my 'heart's is at a bar and someone is harassing him/her. For show, I'd probably yell at the person, and get between them and my 'heart.' If they continued to cause trouble, I'd maybe shove them a bit, depending on their size and fighting ability. If they looked like they knew how to fight, I'd probably make a fuss, then back off. If they looked like they had a glass jaw, I'd probably beat the shit out of them, but the violence wouldn't be for the sake of violence, it'd be to show that the 'heart' I was protecting was MY property, and no one's allowed to mess with them.
Other violence may be in acts of passion. Most sociopaths are violent lovers; we play rough. Of course, beforehand, we'd make sure the person was okay with the violence, and once started, we have no problem stopping, but many a lover of mine has left with bruises, teeth marks, scratches, and open cuts. It's a fun way of expressing ownership of the mate without them realizing it.
Promiscuity is really most often just for the challenge of doing it. A sociopath chases the tail that's hardest to catch or most worth catching. Sociopaths will do almost anything to sleep with a boss at work, just for the power, or sleep with a professor, just for the kudos. Anyone in a position of authority, a sociopath will attempt to control, through nearly any means. Even if control is not possible, the sociopath will still try and establish connections with the authorative figure, and generally succeed.
Incapacity for Love
Again, no explanation given on this one. A sociopath does not have the ability to feel love.
Some romantics out there may think this makes us lonely, but not really. To be lonely, you have to know what it feels like to have someone there for you. Most sociopaths are never understood by anyone else in their entire lives, unless they happen upon another sociopath, which is rare. About 3% of the male population are sociopaths and about 1% of the female. I would say that both of these statistics are overstated, being that sociopathy is grouped in with psychopathy and antisocial disorders. Sociopaths are naturally very social, and while some psychopaths and antisocials may exhibit talents and attributes similar to sociopathy, they are not sociopaths. Most psychopaths are actually corrupted by their ability to feel, in fact the necessity of emotion, and cannot relate, and many antisocials are actually just social misfits; people with low confidence who force themselves to appear what they're not, or hate the general populace for shunning them in the first place.
A sociopath just does not need love. As most of us don't understand the concept of loneliness, we can live our lives in social exile, (thus exhibiting the traits of antisocial disorders) yet we generally choose to build strong positions in society and appear extremely social. Love, to us, is just another tool, something to fake just to catch yet another person in our web of power. Sociopaths can hold up multiple faux relations with the idea of love, while convincing each mate that the other means nothing and is just a fling or a joke or a tool. Care must be taken though, as most normal people do grow jealous.
Some romantics out there may think this makes us lonely, but not really. To be lonely, you have to know what it feels like to have someone there for you. Most sociopaths are never understood by anyone else in their entire lives, unless they happen upon another sociopath, which is rare. About 3% of the male population are sociopaths and about 1% of the female. I would say that both of these statistics are overstated, being that sociopathy is grouped in with psychopathy and antisocial disorders. Sociopaths are naturally very social, and while some psychopaths and antisocials may exhibit talents and attributes similar to sociopathy, they are not sociopaths. Most psychopaths are actually corrupted by their ability to feel, in fact the necessity of emotion, and cannot relate, and many antisocials are actually just social misfits; people with low confidence who force themselves to appear what they're not, or hate the general populace for shunning them in the first place.
A sociopath just does not need love. As most of us don't understand the concept of loneliness, we can live our lives in social exile, (thus exhibiting the traits of antisocial disorders) yet we generally choose to build strong positions in society and appear extremely social. Love, to us, is just another tool, something to fake just to catch yet another person in our web of power. Sociopaths can hold up multiple faux relations with the idea of love, while convincing each mate that the other means nothing and is just a fling or a joke or a tool. Care must be taken though, as most normal people do grow jealous.
Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Ohh, emotion is probably the best tool we have at our hands. A sociopath is extremely skilled at faking concern, love, hate, or any number of passions that we don't really feel. I'm sure a scientist would explain it as some sort of hormonal imbalance, or a therapist might explain it as a falsely hollow feeling, but the truth is, we don't really have hearts. We're emotionally removed from the world, so when a relative dies and we're 'stricken with grief,' we're probably off enjoying the day, or using the death as sympathy, or otherwise accessorizing the tragedy. While most people would truly spend the day at home grieving, we take the time to get a jump on making this look great for us. A sociopath might prepare a moving speech about the relative, plan get-togethers for everyone who might miss this person and need someone to talk to about the death. The speech would give the sociopath the appearance of a true depth of soul, and the get-togethers would allow the sociopath to expand their family connections, maybe make new connections or refurbish old connections.
A sociopath could also easily convince a difficult mate that (s)he loves the person, when no such feeling exists. If that mate returns the emotion, however, the sociopath can use that person like a sword. The sociopath first convinces the mate that the love is eternal and unconditional, and imitates all the romantic actions in stories and plays, then moves on to 'further the relationship' with vows of commitment and more romantic gestures. After a while, the mate becomes totally infatuated with the sociopath, and the sociopath now has a choice; use or abuse. Continuing to use the mate without feeding his/her belief in the love would be an abuse of the situation, but depending on how much effort the sociopath has already put into the faux relationship, there might still be a few years of use left in the mate before (s)he up and leaves. Full use of the mate would involve more permanent commitment, marriage and kids, and the need for a constant renewal of the passion the mate perceives in the relationship, but is often much more rewarding. If the mate truly believes in the integrity of the relationship, the sociopath can use the mate to much greater extremes, even involving the mate in the sociopath's schemes and abilities. This must be done with care, however, as most mates aren't sociopaths themselves and may encounter moral dilemmas in the sociopath's actions, compelling the mate to perhaps share such information with a friend, or worse, an authority figure.
Ohh, emotion is probably the best tool we have at our hands. A sociopath is extremely skilled at faking concern, love, hate, or any number of passions that we don't really feel. I'm sure a scientist would explain it as some sort of hormonal imbalance, or a therapist might explain it as a falsely hollow feeling, but the truth is, we don't really have hearts. We're emotionally removed from the world, so when a relative dies and we're 'stricken with grief,' we're probably off enjoying the day, or using the death as sympathy, or otherwise accessorizing the tragedy. While most people would truly spend the day at home grieving, we take the time to get a jump on making this look great for us. A sociopath might prepare a moving speech about the relative, plan get-togethers for everyone who might miss this person and need someone to talk to about the death. The speech would give the sociopath the appearance of a true depth of soul, and the get-togethers would allow the sociopath to expand their family connections, maybe make new connections or refurbish old connections.
A sociopath could also easily convince a difficult mate that (s)he loves the person, when no such feeling exists. If that mate returns the emotion, however, the sociopath can use that person like a sword. The sociopath first convinces the mate that the love is eternal and unconditional, and imitates all the romantic actions in stories and plays, then moves on to 'further the relationship' with vows of commitment and more romantic gestures. After a while, the mate becomes totally infatuated with the sociopath, and the sociopath now has a choice; use or abuse. Continuing to use the mate without feeding his/her belief in the love would be an abuse of the situation, but depending on how much effort the sociopath has already put into the faux relationship, there might still be a few years of use left in the mate before (s)he up and leaves. Full use of the mate would involve more permanent commitment, marriage and kids, and the need for a constant renewal of the passion the mate perceives in the relationship, but is often much more rewarding. If the mate truly believes in the integrity of the relationship, the sociopath can use the mate to much greater extremes, even involving the mate in the sociopath's schemes and abilities. This must be done with care, however, as most mates aren't sociopaths themselves and may encounter moral dilemmas in the sociopath's actions, compelling the mate to perhaps share such information with a friend, or worse, an authority figure.
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
The sociopath always has a fire lit. During rough times, we'll have nothing but embers, but if smooth sailing lies ahead, we'll have a roaring blaze, just ready to create some chaos. This fire is representative of our anger, but it's also a sign of motivation and ambition. A sociopath wants to make a mark on this world, and will not sit idly by while the world is changing. Unfortunately, we understand that as individuals, our opinion means nothing to the world. So we become more than individuals. We create networks of people. We use, manipulate, con, and dupe people, so their actions assist in achieving our ever-increasing goals and ambitions. The end DOES always justify the means. None of the people who assist me in achieving my goals are really doing much otherwise, and if they get hurt or otherwise negatively impacted along the way, that's small beans next to the changes they're helping accomplish. Generally, however, our accomplices end up benefiting from our presence, not becoming victims. A sociopath is a shyster, and knows how to get the better deal, but even while he's ripping you off, he's helping you. What use would a bunch of torn down, destroyed, victimized accomplices be? We want you in good condition, set up in life, and on your way to the top. Just so long as you're behind us on our way to the top.
Regrets normally don't occur. We'll feign regret for sympathy, we'll feign guilt for an easier sentencing, or we'll feign shame for forgiveness, but these feelings are extremely rare, because we do what we do because we believe it's the right thing for us to do, and we'll rarely change our minds.
The sociopath always has a fire lit. During rough times, we'll have nothing but embers, but if smooth sailing lies ahead, we'll have a roaring blaze, just ready to create some chaos. This fire is representative of our anger, but it's also a sign of motivation and ambition. A sociopath wants to make a mark on this world, and will not sit idly by while the world is changing. Unfortunately, we understand that as individuals, our opinion means nothing to the world. So we become more than individuals. We create networks of people. We use, manipulate, con, and dupe people, so their actions assist in achieving our ever-increasing goals and ambitions. The end DOES always justify the means. None of the people who assist me in achieving my goals are really doing much otherwise, and if they get hurt or otherwise negatively impacted along the way, that's small beans next to the changes they're helping accomplish. Generally, however, our accomplices end up benefiting from our presence, not becoming victims. A sociopath is a shyster, and knows how to get the better deal, but even while he's ripping you off, he's helping you. What use would a bunch of torn down, destroyed, victimized accomplices be? We want you in good condition, set up in life, and on your way to the top. Just so long as you're behind us on our way to the top.
Regrets normally don't occur. We'll feign regret for sympathy, we'll feign guilt for an easier sentencing, or we'll feign shame for forgiveness, but these feelings are extremely rare, because we do what we do because we believe it's the right thing for us to do, and we'll rarely change our minds.
Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests
No sociopath would disagree with the first part. Lies come easy, go easy. However, a sociopath is not by any means a pathological liar. A pathological liar needs to lie. Normally their lies are about their own lives, making themselves more powerful, or more skilled, or better in some way, shape, or form than the people around them. A sociopath sees lying as just another tool. Most sociopaths don't want to be seen as the 'top dog' or the 'guru.' In fact, a sociopath will generally set their reputation as just slightly above average, so they're not a target, but they are still an asset to those around them.
Sociopaths can lie easily, once again, due to Mind over Matter. We believe the lie, just long enough to tell it, and when we tell the lie as though it's truth, anyone who can normally tell lies from truth sees that we believe we're telling the truth, and so believes us. Another of the best methods of lying is to incorporate truth into the stories or lies we tell. If there's concrete fact to back up most of the story, cover the holes in the story with something believable, bland, and unprovable. If no one can prove it's false, then it must be true. Don't lie about something that has solid evidence to prove you wrong, ever. Don't lie if you don't know the whole story. "It's better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove everyone right."
A sociopath will, however, create a complex belief system about their own powers and abilities, normally having to do with religion or philosophy. This is really something of a challenge, because this lie isn't truly to the people around them, but to the sociopaths themselves. The belief is a test of skill to the sociopath. If we fully and completely believe in these created ideas, then we're better at lying then we are at detecting lies. If we can't truly believe in this system, then our ability to lie logically isn't good enough. If we can't convince ourselves that the lie is the truth, then we have less chance of convincing others that the lie is truth. If, however, there is a balance, that we believe in this world we've created for ourselves, yet doubt it and try and prove it either correct or incorrect, then our skill with lying matches our ability to detect it, and we prove to ourselves over and over again that we are convincing liars.
No sociopath would disagree with the first part. Lies come easy, go easy. However, a sociopath is not by any means a pathological liar. A pathological liar needs to lie. Normally their lies are about their own lives, making themselves more powerful, or more skilled, or better in some way, shape, or form than the people around them. A sociopath sees lying as just another tool. Most sociopaths don't want to be seen as the 'top dog' or the 'guru.' In fact, a sociopath will generally set their reputation as just slightly above average, so they're not a target, but they are still an asset to those around them.
Sociopaths can lie easily, once again, due to Mind over Matter. We believe the lie, just long enough to tell it, and when we tell the lie as though it's truth, anyone who can normally tell lies from truth sees that we believe we're telling the truth, and so believes us. Another of the best methods of lying is to incorporate truth into the stories or lies we tell. If there's concrete fact to back up most of the story, cover the holes in the story with something believable, bland, and unprovable. If no one can prove it's false, then it must be true. Don't lie about something that has solid evidence to prove you wrong, ever. Don't lie if you don't know the whole story. "It's better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove everyone right."
A sociopath will, however, create a complex belief system about their own powers and abilities, normally having to do with religion or philosophy. This is really something of a challenge, because this lie isn't truly to the people around them, but to the sociopaths themselves. The belief is a test of skill to the sociopath. If we fully and completely believe in these created ideas, then we're better at lying then we are at detecting lies. If we can't truly believe in this system, then our ability to lie logically isn't good enough. If we can't convince ourselves that the lie is the truth, then we have less chance of convincing others that the lie is truth. If, however, there is a balance, that we believe in this world we've created for ourselves, yet doubt it and try and prove it either correct or incorrect, then our skill with lying matches our ability to detect it, and we prove to ourselves over and over again that we are convincing liars.
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
A grandiose sense of self is rather simple to explain. Referring to Glibness and Superficial Charm, the sociopath uses the idea of Mind over Matter to easily acquire what (s)he wants or needs. When I was in college, I wanted a mini-fridge for our room, so I could have cold beverages and creamer for my coffee. Luxurious, I know. My two roommates and I all had bits and pieces of cash, left over from student loans, refund checks, and work-studies. I had other ideas for my money however. I decided that I'd contributed enough to the room, even though I definitely hadn't. I forced myself to believe that, however, so within a week or so, I was complaining to one roommate about the other not contributing, and the other about the first not contributing. They began arguing with each other about who could provide what, and in just another week, one had bought a mini-fridge, and the other had bought a TV. I used my money to get coffee creamer, cold beverages, and a couple DVD's.
I wouldn't say that it's "our right" to have these nice things, but if we can attain them through other people, we do. I would say that I earned the right to both the TV and the fridge. It wasn't difficult, but it was my doing that brought both of my roommates to spend responsibly, so I could continue to spend irresponsibly.
A grandiose sense of self is rather simple to explain. Referring to Glibness and Superficial Charm, the sociopath uses the idea of Mind over Matter to easily acquire what (s)he wants or needs. When I was in college, I wanted a mini-fridge for our room, so I could have cold beverages and creamer for my coffee. Luxurious, I know. My two roommates and I all had bits and pieces of cash, left over from student loans, refund checks, and work-studies. I had other ideas for my money however. I decided that I'd contributed enough to the room, even though I definitely hadn't. I forced myself to believe that, however, so within a week or so, I was complaining to one roommate about the other not contributing, and the other about the first not contributing. They began arguing with each other about who could provide what, and in just another week, one had bought a mini-fridge, and the other had bought a TV. I used my money to get coffee creamer, cold beverages, and a couple DVD's.
I wouldn't say that it's "our right" to have these nice things, but if we can attain them through other people, we do. I would say that I earned the right to both the TV and the fridge. It wasn't difficult, but it was my doing that brought both of my roommates to spend responsibly, so I could continue to spend irresponsibly.
Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
This description is fairly accurate, but has no explanation with it. Honestly, I think it was written by some bored researcher who just put bits of data together.
No sociopath would dominate or humiliate their victims for no reason, and in fact, normally don't see the victim as a victim, but as a tool. Everything done is done for a purpose. We need power over others, but not at the cost of exposure of our nature, not even to one person. A sociopath tells no one what (s)he is, unless by sharing a piece of our nature, we get something in return. A sociopath is nothing if not covert, but hostility is only there if the person the sociopath is manipulating needs hostility to be stimulated in the direction the sociopath wants them to move in. We manipulate for our own gain, not for another's pain. The pain may happen, but it's generally a byproduct of our own goals. We look at the people around us as items, categorized easily.
This description is fairly accurate, but has no explanation with it. Honestly, I think it was written by some bored researcher who just put bits of data together.
No sociopath would dominate or humiliate their victims for no reason, and in fact, normally don't see the victim as a victim, but as a tool. Everything done is done for a purpose. We need power over others, but not at the cost of exposure of our nature, not even to one person. A sociopath tells no one what (s)he is, unless by sharing a piece of our nature, we get something in return. A sociopath is nothing if not covert, but hostility is only there if the person the sociopath is manipulating needs hostility to be stimulated in the direction the sociopath wants them to move in. We manipulate for our own gain, not for another's pain. The pain may happen, but it's generally a byproduct of our own goals. We look at the people around us as items, categorized easily.
- Trophies
- These people have certain attributes about them that will somehow assist the sociopath
- Innocence: By surrounding oneself with 'good little girls and boys,' we look more harmless.
- Ambition: People who strongly desire and work on moving up the ranks of society. A sociopath will generally help an ambitious person reach their goals, then expect favors later on
- Power: A sociopath will stick close to anyone who is a leader in a group, most likely assist the person in their position, then start pulling the strings in the group, using the leader as a figurehead.
- The trophies will receive about 30% of the sociopath's attention, being rather important in keeping the sociopath in a state of good social standing
- Contacts
- These people generally have hookups of some kind
- Drugs: A sociopath does not get physiologically addicted to most substances, unless the addiction is genetic, but knowing someone who can supply illegal substances means the sociopath can be a provider for others, and be seen as someone who "Knows a guy"
- Nice people: Sociopaths understand people from the inside out after just a few conversations, and when a sociopath meets someone who would be willing to help out a 'friend in need' we get their phone number and whatnot, and treat them real nice. It pays off.
- Bigwigs: Anyone who can loan out money on short notice. A sociopath may need to impress, and so may borrow a couple hundreds, show off for the night, and take care of business. On a loan, however, if the bigwig has proven useful, the sociopath will ALWAYS pay that loan back, even if it takes a while.
- Rides: Sober drivers are always necessary for a sociopath, because we may often need to feign drunkenness. It's also a common occurrence that we come unprepared to an event of some sort, and need to help others get home to improve a reputation. Knowing someone who can save the night makes you the hero.
- Contacts receive maybe 20% of the sociopath's time. Normally, they don't need to be friendly, so the relationship is concise and businesslike.
- Hearts
- These are people that the sociopath either feels obligated to, or wants to appear obligated to.
- Family: Very rarely parents, most sociopaths fight with their parents more than most during their teenage years, and we generally feel bitter. Favored uncles, estranged relatives, cousins, or sometimes siblings make it into the 'heart' of a sociopath. Family is a powerful connection, and these people are almost always willing to save your ass or bail you out if you get into a bad situation, so we act like we love them, and we treat them real nice.
- "Close" friends: A sociopath can lose a family member and not shed a tear, but sometimes, we'll make a connection to someone, normally someone who has absolutely no clue what we are, and we'll protect them. We'll guard them like a possession, but they normally will not have the attributes of a trophy or a contact. This makes us look good, because it looks like the sociopath is being friends for the sake of being friends, as opposed to just using the person.
- Children: When a sociopath has a child, the child is seen as a legacy, or progeny, something that we can control completely. A sociopath will experiment with their children, testing different parenting methods to see the best way the child can come out. Anyone who interrupts or affects that process quickly becomes an enemy.
- Hearts receive perhaps 40% of a sociopath's time. The appearance of humanity and being a normal person is probably the most important thing to a sociopath.
- Enemies
- These are people who have wronged the sociopath in some way, most likely during childhood, but they can appear any time during life
- Childhood enemies: If the sociopath was oppressed as a child, bullied, mentally or emotionally abused, or wronged in any memorable way, those grudges normally arise as the sociopath becomes a teen. One schoolyard bully, or one power-tripping teacher, and the sociopath holds that hatred for years. Normally, those people are never again encountered, and their memories just allow a target for excess anger.
- Enemies of adolescence: During the teen years, a sociopath is generally volatile, but under control. If you've seen the Adam Sandler movie, Anger Management, you'll understand the term 'Implosive Anger.' The sociopath is most likely only now coming into social graces, and therefore is probably getting picked on in school or by siblings and siblings' friends. The sociopath, wanting to be socially fit, will act like the teasing is nothing, let the anger build, then at some point, let all that anger out at an unwitting target. These enemies are forgotten soon after adolescence.
- Adult enemies: These are normally much calmer animosities. By now, the sociopath sees nearly everyone as a tool, something to be used, and there seems to be no point to having enemies. Ohh, those childhood hatreds still exist, maybe a couple bad ex-girlfriends from teenhood, but for the most part, the adult sociopath will rarely get angry, even internally. The only danger is when the sociopath encounters another sociopath, or someone with similar qualities to sociopathy, who seems to be encroaching on their turf, or taking their people. These can turn into heated feuds, especially if the new guy wants to keep their new place.
- Enemies receive the remaining 10% of the sociopath's time; the sociopath will make sure the enemy stays on their back, but otherwise not care, as long as the enemy is not threatening the sociopath's way of life.
Glibness and Superficial Charm
A common misconception is that a sociopath is some hulking guy who can't speak normally and has the urge to beat on someone every ten minutes. Au countraire, most sociopaths are very smooth-talking; tongues lined with silver, eyes sharp yet friendly, and generally physically fit and good-looking.
A smooth voice and a silver tongue can get you anything. A sociopath is generally quick-witted. Not smart, precisely, but always with an answer. The answer doesn't even have to be correct, just there. Say a group of people are talking about cars. I know very little about cars, but as long as I have something to say that's even slightly relevant to the conversation, I'm included. Within a few minutes, I can begin to understand the current conversation, and soon enough, I'm the highlight of the conversation. All I do is tell everyone the very same things they told me about the subject, but I put my spin on it. Sound clever and knowledgeable, and you will soon become clever and knowledgeable. Being able to lie is also a common trait of a sociopath. We need power over others, and what better than to be able to tell you whatever we want and make you believe it. Sociopaths can generally evade lie detection methods, because most methods rely on body language. A sociopath tells a lie like it's the truth, and mentally, we believe the lie, just long enough to convince you. Our body language doesn't change, because if we treat the lie as though it is truth, we don't have the nervous gestures, the facial twitches, or the fidgets that most people have when lying.
Sharp eyes. A sociopath will always have eyes that will, in some way, have you guessing what they're thinking. My eyes, brown, boring, and rather bland, don't really stick out when I talk to you. All I do is lower my lids halfway down, so there's more white showing than iris, then open my eyes all the way again. Those boring eyes now have a focus, a brightness in them, that you didn't see before. I now seem to be penetrating into your mind, reading your very thoughts, and you can do nothing about it. Even when my eyes don't seem to be staring deep into your soul, they're still off-putting enough that you're thrown a bit out of wack and you find it hard to concentrate on what we're talking about. This gives me the edge.
Mind over matter, the theory that your mentality can change anything, comes into play very often for sociopaths. If I believes that I am good looking, to the degree where nothing can change my mind about how I look, my body begins to shape itself so that I appear pleasing to own eyes regardless of whether I looked that way before believing it. Most sociopaths have extreme inner confidence bordering on arrogance regarding our looks, yet on the outside, often appear modest, as though hiding a flaw we don't have. For instance, my body is healthily shaped, with a small amount of pudge. To me, that's a lie. When I see myself, I see a glowing body, ripe with the fruit of youth, well toned, properly colored, and overall gorgeous. But when I tell someone how I see my body, I convince them that I only think I look okay. That I don't feel that attractive, just mediocre. That instills a sense of security in other people, thinking that I'm insecure.
A smooth voice and a silver tongue can get you anything. A sociopath is generally quick-witted. Not smart, precisely, but always with an answer. The answer doesn't even have to be correct, just there. Say a group of people are talking about cars. I know very little about cars, but as long as I have something to say that's even slightly relevant to the conversation, I'm included. Within a few minutes, I can begin to understand the current conversation, and soon enough, I'm the highlight of the conversation. All I do is tell everyone the very same things they told me about the subject, but I put my spin on it. Sound clever and knowledgeable, and you will soon become clever and knowledgeable. Being able to lie is also a common trait of a sociopath. We need power over others, and what better than to be able to tell you whatever we want and make you believe it. Sociopaths can generally evade lie detection methods, because most methods rely on body language. A sociopath tells a lie like it's the truth, and mentally, we believe the lie, just long enough to convince you. Our body language doesn't change, because if we treat the lie as though it is truth, we don't have the nervous gestures, the facial twitches, or the fidgets that most people have when lying.
Sharp eyes. A sociopath will always have eyes that will, in some way, have you guessing what they're thinking. My eyes, brown, boring, and rather bland, don't really stick out when I talk to you. All I do is lower my lids halfway down, so there's more white showing than iris, then open my eyes all the way again. Those boring eyes now have a focus, a brightness in them, that you didn't see before. I now seem to be penetrating into your mind, reading your very thoughts, and you can do nothing about it. Even when my eyes don't seem to be staring deep into your soul, they're still off-putting enough that you're thrown a bit out of wack and you find it hard to concentrate on what we're talking about. This gives me the edge.
Mind over matter, the theory that your mentality can change anything, comes into play very often for sociopaths. If I believes that I am good looking, to the degree where nothing can change my mind about how I look, my body begins to shape itself so that I appear pleasing to own eyes regardless of whether I looked that way before believing it. Most sociopaths have extreme inner confidence bordering on arrogance regarding our looks, yet on the outside, often appear modest, as though hiding a flaw we don't have. For instance, my body is healthily shaped, with a small amount of pudge. To me, that's a lie. When I see myself, I see a glowing body, ripe with the fruit of youth, well toned, properly colored, and overall gorgeous. But when I tell someone how I see my body, I convince them that I only think I look okay. That I don't feel that attractive, just mediocre. That instills a sense of security in other people, thinking that I'm insecure.
Attributes of a sociopath.
First, I am a sociopath. I have not been clinically diagnosed with being a sociopath, nor do I want to be. I will not share my name, gender, or other information regarding myself. This blog is to help people to understand sociopaths; how we think, how we move, and why we do what we do.
These are the accepted attributes of Antisocial Personality Disorder, commonly called "sociopathy" I will individually review each of these attributes and explain why they exist.
These are the accepted attributes of Antisocial Personality Disorder, commonly called "sociopathy" I will individually review each of these attributes and explain why they exist.
- Glibness and Superficial Charm
- Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
- Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
- Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
- Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
- Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
- Incapacity for Love
- Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
- Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
- Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
- Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
- Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
- Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
- Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
- Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
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