Feb 23, 2011

Manipulative and Conning

 They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

This description is fairly accurate, but has no explanation with it. Honestly, I think it was written by some bored researcher who just put bits of data together.

No sociopath would dominate or humiliate their victims for no reason, and in fact, normally don't see the victim as a victim, but as a tool. Everything done is done for a purpose. We need power over others, but not at the cost of exposure of our nature, not even to one person. A sociopath tells no one what (s)he is, unless by sharing a piece of our nature, we get something in return. A sociopath is nothing if not covert, but hostility is only there if the person the sociopath is manipulating needs hostility to be stimulated in the direction the sociopath wants them to move in. We manipulate for our own gain, not for another's pain. The pain may happen, but it's generally a byproduct of our own goals. We look at the people around us as items, categorized easily.
  • Trophies
    • These people have certain attributes about them that will somehow assist the sociopath
      • Innocence: By surrounding oneself with 'good little girls and boys,' we look more harmless.
      • Ambition: People who strongly desire and work on moving up the ranks of society. A sociopath will generally help an ambitious person reach their goals, then expect favors later on
      • Power: A sociopath will stick close to anyone who is a leader in a group, most likely assist the person in their position, then start pulling the strings in the group, using the leader as a figurehead.
    • The trophies will receive about 30% of the sociopath's attention, being rather important in keeping the sociopath in a state of good social standing
  • Contacts
    • These people generally have hookups of some kind
      • Drugs: A sociopath does not get physiologically addicted to most substances, unless the addiction is genetic, but knowing someone who can supply illegal substances means the sociopath can be a provider for others, and be seen as someone who "Knows a guy"
      • Nice people: Sociopaths understand people from the inside out after just a few conversations, and when a sociopath meets someone who would be willing to help out a 'friend in need' we get their phone number and whatnot, and treat them real nice. It pays off.
      • Bigwigs: Anyone who can loan out money on short notice. A sociopath may need to impress, and so may borrow a couple hundreds, show off for the night, and take care of business. On a loan, however, if the bigwig has proven useful, the sociopath will ALWAYS pay that loan back, even if it takes a while.
      • Rides: Sober drivers are always necessary for a sociopath, because we may often need to feign drunkenness. It's also a common occurrence that we come unprepared to an event of some sort, and need to help others get home to improve a reputation. Knowing someone who can save the night makes you the hero.
    • Contacts receive maybe 20% of the sociopath's time. Normally, they don't need to be friendly, so the relationship is concise and businesslike.
  • Hearts
    • These are people that the sociopath either feels obligated to, or wants to appear obligated to.
      • Family: Very rarely parents, most sociopaths fight with their parents more than most during their teenage years, and we generally feel bitter. Favored uncles, estranged relatives, cousins, or sometimes siblings make it into the 'heart' of a sociopath. Family is a powerful connection, and these people are almost always willing to save your ass or bail you out if you get into a bad situation, so we act like we love them, and we treat them real nice.
      • "Close" friends: A sociopath can lose a family member and not shed a tear, but sometimes, we'll make a connection to someone, normally someone who has absolutely no clue what we are, and we'll protect them. We'll guard them like a possession, but they normally will not have the attributes of a trophy or a contact. This makes us look good, because it looks like the sociopath is being friends for the sake of being friends, as opposed to just using the person. 
      • Children: When a sociopath has a child, the child is seen as a legacy, or progeny, something that we can control completely. A sociopath will experiment with their children, testing different parenting methods to see the best way the child can come out. Anyone who interrupts or affects that process quickly becomes an enemy.
    • Hearts receive perhaps 40% of a sociopath's time. The appearance of humanity and being a normal person is probably the most important thing to a sociopath.
  • Enemies
    • These are people who have wronged the sociopath in some way, most likely during childhood, but they can appear any time during life
      • Childhood enemies: If the sociopath was oppressed as a child, bullied, mentally or emotionally abused, or wronged in any memorable way, those grudges normally arise as the sociopath becomes a teen. One schoolyard bully, or one power-tripping teacher, and the sociopath holds that hatred for years. Normally, those people are never again encountered, and their memories just allow a target for excess anger.
      • Enemies of adolescence: During the teen years, a sociopath is generally volatile, but under control. If you've seen the Adam Sandler movie, Anger Management, you'll understand the term 'Implosive Anger.' The sociopath is most likely only now coming into social graces, and therefore is probably getting picked on in school or by siblings and siblings' friends. The sociopath, wanting to be socially fit, will act like the teasing is nothing, let the anger build, then at some point, let all that anger out at an unwitting target. These enemies are forgotten soon after adolescence. 
      • Adult enemies: These are normally much calmer animosities. By now, the sociopath sees nearly everyone as a tool, something to be used, and there seems to be no point to having enemies. Ohh, those childhood hatreds still exist, maybe a couple bad ex-girlfriends from teenhood, but for the most part, the adult sociopath will rarely get angry, even internally. The only danger is when the sociopath encounters another sociopath, or someone with similar qualities to sociopathy, who seems to be encroaching on their turf, or taking their people. These can turn into heated feuds, especially if the new guy wants to keep their new place.
    • Enemies receive the remaining 10% of the sociopath's time; the sociopath will make sure the enemy stays on their back, but otherwise not care, as long as the enemy is not threatening the sociopath's way of life.

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